THE WEEK’S READING
sum enlightened whtdude cldn’t b content 2 look @ the sky[just look] or lack an explanation. nd bc
i keep trying to read myself out of these niggardly precognitions i kno epistemology is a branch of phil
dedicated 2 the study of knoledge nd this shit is finally creaking [holding nd wanting 2 b held guest
starring as the clearest forms of trauma]. humans make shit— fine— bt cldn’t we have made sumthn’
cooler? like, fucc this volano proj. like, fucc these frackin anglocized assertions. 1 of the 1st #race(s)
can b found in the writ of Immanuel Kant, which explains how Baldwin musta felt ‘bout modern phil
which explains why i hvn’t gota lick of sleep closer to the center of this coochie pop. gimmie tht sign
nd signalfire: after all the reading, none i’ve done has lessened my lighthead or load nor explained the
word for wht has agreed to hold me. oh bother. oh brother. God was loved w/o Descartes nd atheism
hit the street w/o mr. Russell to tussle the truth. Mama Mullen knows y Cali is bilingual on trashcans
and she isn’t a dead white dude! see! evn me— i tlk. i waddle my walk thru poems, tip blanched black
w heat.
ON LEARNING THE WORD ALMOST
drunk and angryish step these legs ’cause these skinnies already got a hole in the back pocket so i’m
fistin’ for pounds and quid when— Tony! Tony’s the name, mate!— headlights my wet leaf swirling in
gutter.
he happens to know where— oh, really? i’m walkin’ just thataway,— and god is almost a good god
& this man is almost a good man until he rakes me down the darkest knockturn alley. Tony:
ply me jawbreaker hard. me: fearflattered and become death on that ass: Shaft / BJ Penn
/ Carl Sagan / the most interesting boy in the world. until my brain keeps reckless
with memory and i’m wrecked. fuck me! ‘cause he almost did— almost sexual
assault sobers me clear as a cane field burned clean. when i tell mom ‘bout
this almost [flag on the play! fifteen yards from the spot of the foul!]
i can’t do it / don’t say: hey Ma, got schwasted in a foreign
country and tried to walk under London’s lazy whiskey
dick. yo Ma, i’m doing pretty brickwall tattoo. pretty
converse blood. so Mom, my bodybag got violated
again. but is it still a red flag if i beg for it?
if anything i’m an accommodation er i mean
an accommodating guy. ///
no not
really
but i have
a meeting
in six minutes
so
i have to
run
yep yep
love ya
talk
okay talk soon
Kamden Hilliard prefers Kam and is an editor at Jellyfish Magazine. He’s caught good vibes from The Ucross Foundation, Callaloo, and The Davidson Institute. Kam is the author of two chapbooks: distress tolerance (Magic Helicopter Press, 2016) and perceived distance from impact (Black Lawrence Press, 2017). He tweeters @KamdenHilliard.